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Raising a rebellious child becomes an intense job that can end up being exhausting for parents who are faced with a systematically disobedient and capricious child, who does not abide by norms or accept limits.
A child who tries to always be right or get away with nothing but his own satisfaction. Patience, consistency, and consistency in educational guidelines can turn around a situation that is becoming untenable for all family members.
- The education: Among the possible causes of childhood rebellion areeducational styles too authoritarian, lax or overprotective that end up generating attitudes of rebellion, disobedience and contempt of any authority either due to excess or defect of rules and limits.
- Other factors: In addition to educational styles, other children's rebellion may influence and concur factors such as genetic, biological and environmental. Negative Defiant Disorder is the most obvious case, as could also be the case of a child suffering from the controversial Attention Deficit Disorder with or without Hyperactivity (ADHD)
But not all rebellious, disobedient, and defiant children suffer from these disorders. We know that in the vast majority of cases, rebellious children are rebellious for a constant need to explore boundaries (both yours and ours), children who may be lost and scared who need draw attention with his behavior, as can be the case of a child who feels jealous of his brother. Jealousy they can be one of these causes if not managed properly.
Having said this, the age of the child must always be taken into account, since the rebellion of a 2 or 4 year old is not the same as that of a 10 or 12 year old. In each case we must act in a different way and adapt our system of norms and limits at the child's age level.
In the vast majority of cases, rebellious children only need to be clear about what they should do and what the consequences are of their transgression or of their lack of respect for others (whether or not they are adults or authority figures). Faced with this type of case we must:
1. Act firmly but without authoritarianism.
2. Establish clear and well-defined rules, it is not necessary that they be many, we can start with 3-4 simple rules and always appropriate to the child's age level. For example: the pictures are seen after doing homework or picking up toys, after playing everything is collected, dirty clothes go to the basket, you eat with the cutlery … When they learn to follow them, we will incorporate others.
3. Give orders one by one when they are little.
4. Do not go into the provocation or give in to their refusals to obey, we will simply apply the consequence that we have established for each case, if possible natural consequences instead of fruitless punishments such as 'you run out of…'. For example, no clean clothes if you don't want to shower, clean what has been dirty when you have thrown something wanting…
5. We only warn once, neither two nor three in older children, giving more opportunities means giving the opportunity to continue disobeying until they push us to the limit, which we want to avoid.
6. Do not contradict ourselves or our partner with the limits or consequences that we set.
7. Be a role model, that is why we must avoid yelling, criticizing, belittling ...
8. Promote active listening, share time with the family, understand what may be worrying you (fear, jealousy, problems with colleagues ...)
In the event of extreme rebellion or if we feel overwhelmed, we should consult a child psychology professional, who will assess the situation and help us find the most appropriate ways to resolve our case.
You can read more articles similar to How to raise a rebellious child, in the category of Conduct on site.