Boys and girls need limits to develop their own happiness more fully. And it is that, along with the rules, they are fundamental for their emotional well-being and for the rest of the people with whom they are going to interact. Next we are going to analyze a series of clues that will help us set limits to children from positive discipline, that is to say, from kindness and firmness.
The limits that we put on our sons and daughters should not come from the hand of rewards, punishments, even blackmail or spanking. This is the basis of positive discipline, which also contributes that the limits must start of respect, kindness and empathy. And it is that educating with and from kindness, in no case is synonymous with permissiveness.
Limits help boys and girls to know how to behave in certain moments and situations, as well as to know how to relate healthily with others, in order, ultimately, to be happier.
Positive discipline is not a set of rules, norms, or recipes. No, positive discipline is an educational philosophy based fundamentally on the deep and conscious parenting, which aims to reflect the child himself on his behaviors, as well as the involvement in the search for solutions to a possible damage caused.
On the other hand, positive discipline is a constant task, with long-term, effective and lasting results. There are mothers and fathers who will prefer an immediate result, such as those offered by sanction, blackmail or punishment; but it is very important to know that in this case the learning is not the desired one and that in addition these results are not long-lasting.
And how can positive discipline help us to propose limits to children in a kind and respectful way, but at the same time firm? To promote some respectful and kind boundaries, I am going to give you four important clues:
1. Make the child participate in the rules
In this sense, we are also strengthening their responsibility and their belonging to the group. It is clear that there are rules that are not negotiable, such as those relating to security, for example, but others are. To develop these conversations, a good tool is the family assembly.
2. Set fair limits, appropriate to age and maturational development
It is important to bear in mind that the limits we propose are adjusted to our sons and daughters. In this way, we promote compliance and help the child's emotional self-management.
3. Act with kindness and firmness
This is one of the mantras of this discipline. And I share a phrase that has helped me a lot: 'When you put limits on your son, let it be with the same firmness, love and calm with which you give him a kiss'.
4. Encourage productive reflection that promotes the search for a solution
On the one hand, the child must be made to see the importance of taking responsibility for their own behavior, whether it is an event that occurred in front of adults or not. And on the other hand, consequence is necessary, that is, jointly seeking solutions, asking how you can alleviate what happened or how you can improve ...
Remember the valuable power of the question! In this way, the foundations of responsible and meaningful behavior are established.
It is important not to forget that boys and girls have the need to belong, who in some way seek the connection with others and it is there, as the main references that we are, where it is necessary that we accompany them and help them in their feeling of contribution.
The more respect and love we offer, the more they will live it and therefore the more they will give it, starting with themselves. And finally, let's not forget to validate their emotions and accompany them with trust and listening.
You can read more articles similar to 4 tips to set limits for children from positive discipline, in the Limits category - On-site discipline.